Gavin Roach. Holden Street Theatres. 22 Nov 2018
The seventh word out of his mouth is “penis”. It’s a wonder he held off that long.
Gavin Roach has a complicated relationship with his penis and he is here to tell us all about it, the long and the short of it, so to speak.
It’s 6.7 inches, actually. Above average. The global average is 5.5 inches. And, in case you’re wondering, imperial measurement is much preferred when dealing with boys’ dickies.
Wearing red jocks and socks which say “GAY”, Roach reaches back to narrate his early childhood penile discoveries and his gradual adventures into gay sex. He tries desperately to make his dismal encounters seem funny and he evokes a few laughs, but the more he confesses, the sadder the audience becomes. His above-average organ just won’t play ball with the big wide orgasmic world. Every time he manages to bring a man home, he runs into the bathroom and does a little “man in my home” dance to the mirror. This may be his problem. He’s used-up in private celebration.
He does not bring too many men home. He says he’s grateful if anyone will follow him home.
He gives no hint to any other aspect of his life. He has not compensated with any other interests. He has just given up.
It is a pretty heartbreaking monologue.
But when it comes to bravery, it deserves an award.
And it deserves generosity, for one may be sure that he is not the only man in the world with erectile dysfunction and that others hearing his tale will feel immense solace.
When: 22 to 24 Nov
Where: Holden Street Theatres